Installing A husband

In my inbox today:

Dear Tech Support ,
Last year (7 months really) I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0 . In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as:
Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5,
and then installed undesirable programs such as :
NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1 .
Also Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2. 6 simply crashes the system.
Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate

DEAR DESPERATE ,
First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
If that application works as designed , Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5 , Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.
Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta. Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.) In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 -program These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0 .In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend · Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.
Good Luck! Tech Support

More Great Giveaways!

Nina, at accordingtonina.com is hosting some great giveaways this week. If you haven't visited her blog go by and take a look at all the fun things she's giving away.

Hanky Panky & Valentine's Day

Don't these two things go hand in hand? The Blue-Eyed Bride at http://akincarroll.blogspot.com/ is hosting a great giveaway for Valentine's Day. Swing by her blog for your chance to win this awesome Hank Panky gift set from Nordstroms.

SHUT UP!!!!! Love you KTEX!

Got home today and found this in my inbox:

Congratulations, you are one of our qualifiers to meet George Strait in San Antonio, courtesy of Rivera's Machinerey in Donna. Please print this email, bring it with you and your ID the day of the drawing. The complete list of rules will be available the day of the drawing for your review. All qualifiers MUST check in between the required time.

Keep your fingers crossed for me to get up close with him:

Stationary Giveaway

Just recently, I've become addicted to stationary. Who doesn't love monogrammed stationary? Go visit this great site http://jeffandmandyrose.blogspot.com for your chance to win 20 monogrammed flat cards in the color of your choice and the file on CD for you to print out more!

Mrs. Mojito and Valentine's Giveaway

The first blog I started to follow was this one http://makemineamojito.blogspot.com. She's having a yummy Valentine's Day giveaway with brownies from Fat Witch Bakery in NYC. Go visit her site and enter!

Pre Superbowl Warm-Up

My husband, like thousands of others today woke up very enthusiastic about the Superbowl this afternoon. As soon as he opened his eyes this morning he yells from the bed (I was already up and cleaning up the kitchen) "Jen, are you ready?" "Ready," I replied. "Yeah, today is the biggest game day ever Jen, what are we doing, should I bbq, where do we go?" Obviously my excitement level for the big game wasn't quite as high as his. So he gets up and starts planning his day: shower, change, get a haircut, buy meat to bbq, bbq, sit in front of TV and watch game. As lovingly as I could I reminded him of something he forgot to include in his little agenda: help wife clean up and put away laundry. He did and while he went out on his merry little way, I went to the gym to run 4.5 miles on this:



because I knew I would be eating this for dinner: